A tribute to my dad...

Presenting my father aka papa bear...

Its my dad's birthday today...He turns 57 today and i miss him like crazy...I've always been daddy's girl all my life and i tell him almost everything to him...be it recent and latest bf to mischief behaviour in school (in case i get caught ;))... he's cool with everything as long as mama doesnt know or he'll get nag...I would consider him protective but his rule was always reasonable and at times he tests your sense of respect and responsibility....

Back during my school days, my curfew is like 7.00 and by 5.30 he'll be ringing my cell making sure i'm in the train on the way back...there is this one time, when i call him at work asking to go to sunway pyramid, which is way out of the perimeter that i'm allowed to go...(haha yes i have a geographical perimeter) and he said yes as long as I arrive home by 7pm and somehow i arrive home late, maybe half an hour late and of course la i expected yelling from him....But he didnt yell, he just made me come to my senses...I remember what his said to this day and I quote "You made me look a fool to your mum...I gave you a permission and I defended my permission to your mum because i know you'll keep your word"...Ouch

New Zealand, 1984

He is garang and i do get that garangness from him but he never hit me not even once...if i throw tantrums when i was younger, he'll always give the 'slow talk' and to my surprise it works everytime...i am so amazed on his knowledge on everything, he's my 'walking encyclopedia'...seriously he can answer you everything because he just loves to read...i mean a LOT of readings...you'll never sees him without a book in his hand...when i ask how do you know everything..."cause I read!"...It was his favourite statement...


He never wanted me to go to boarding school...but i insisted to go so he let me and i never told him until i was in 4th form that i hate and i cant stand living in a boarding school since like the second year...he was appalled when he knew it..he said he would have pulled me out of school if he knew then but it would be a waste if I left at that time...he was surprised i didn't tell him earlier but later he realized that i got his stubbornness and pride since i was the one insisted to go despite his disapproval...i just don't want to prove he was right....hahaha


He is also the parent with the 'tough' love approach, while mama will be balancing him as she was the 'soft' love (if there is such things)...even if i get like great grades, his response will always be "you're not the best tho"...hampeh tul, mama would be vise versa, she'll compliment like you are the most clever in the universe (i'm not kidding)...But despite the 'tough' love thingy that he has going on, I'll always see it in his eyes, how proud he is...precious....oh yeah i should add, now that mama is no longer here, its a bit off balance....Sad

United Kingdom, 1992

I know he hates me being here down under...every time when he sent me off at klia, he'll sing "Leaving on the jet plane"...seriously he actually sing it out loud in the KLIA carpark when he first sent me off...mak aih segan but it was precious...and he still sing it at home before i leave malaysia when he sees me dragging my bag down stairs...and there were times i stop believing in medicine and me, and he said and i quote "there2, stop saying that...i grilled you about medicine before you go and you were certain...stick to it come rain or shine and never falter my believe in you...Can't wait to go to your graduation!!"...and everytime I'm down I'll read his txt and that keeps me going...


But when my mama passed away...i can see him fall apart...I've never seen him like that ever in my life...I didn't even talk to him after 2 weeks of her passing...He just couldn't make himself talk to me and when i came home that summer he handed a piece of paper to the 3 of us.....

If I Only Knew

If I only knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our," I love you’,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our. "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So always hold them dear.
Take time to say I'm sorry, Please forgive
me, Thank you, or its okay.
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Love,
Dad